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Joke Journal 2011Joke Journal 2010 - http://osy057.deviantart.com/journal/34225711/
December Update
Helmet strapped on. Crayons sharpened.
It's going to be a great day.
---
Boy: You are the funniest, sweetest, most beautiful girl I have ever known.
Girl: You just wanna do me.
Boy: Wow... and smart too.
---
Friend: "Don't you hate it when you realize Valentine's day is approaching fast and the only one who loves you is your pet?"
Me: "...All I have is my collection of mannequins."
Friend: o_o
---
It's a good idea to take 2 shirts when you go golfing...
in case you get a hole in one.
---
*On Facebook*
Popular person's status: I just ate lunch. It was good.
(185 people likes this, 72 comments)
My status: Today is my birthday!!!
(Mom likes this, 0 comments)
---
While washing hands, sleeves start falling down.
"No no no no no NO..!"
---
Food hits the floor.
Little germs: GET IT!!!
King germ: NO! We must wait 5 seconds!
---
Friend: What movie are you watching?
Me: Snakes on a plane.
Friend: What's it

Spring 2012Man, why is it so hard for me to keep up with my online accounts, like DA or facebook or whatever. I just.. I never check them regularly. I check them in short bursts, if that makes sense. Anybody else do that?
Anyway, new school semester has started for me. Second semester in Arts & Technology. Exciting.

I'm taking 18 hours this semester so I'll be pretty swamped. Plus I need to look for a job too...
GAWD. I wanted to finish the commissions batch from last year before school started...
but damn Skyrim and Dungeon Defenders on Steam have been swallowing up all my time.
CURSE YE ADDICTIVE GAMES! CURSE YEEEE!
Anyway. Hope all of you guys have a wonderful semester.
And if you don't go to school anymore then... well. Have fun at work.
And if you don't work either then... well. you know... do something you bum.
Unless you're a house-wife. Which is like a full-time job, I hear.
Or a house-husband.. Which is just.. totally conventional...
...and I'm rambling.
"Daddy! There's a monster unde

Joke Journal 2012Joke Journal 2010 - http://osy057.deviantart.com/journal/The-Joke-Journal-224875442
Joke Journal 2011 - http://osy057.deviantart.com/journal/Joke-Journal-2011-221306777
Update #2 (3/14)
Friend: "This 'Kony 2012' is someting else... I haven't seen this many white people interested in what's going on in Africa since Mufasa died."
Me: "HEY! Too soon for jokes about Mufasa.."
---
When I was a kid, I slept with a nightlight... to keep away the monsters that were scared of a small, low-wattage light bulbs.
---
Master Yoda, are we going the right way?
"Off course, we are."
---
Hey are you an angel? cause... no hold on, is there a mirror in your... crap, wait. Did it hurt when something about heaven... dammit. Just take your pants off.
---
Today during dinner, my son had hardly touched his plate and my wife said, "Think of the poor children in Africa," and he replied, "Do they have to eat this shit too?" High-fiving him probably wasn't the best idea..
---
Attractive girl: Hi!
Me: ...Is

Episode 27- Blackout- Part 1 ReleasedThe day we have all awaited and dreaded: Episode 27, when our hearts begin to break and the death is revealed.
Like Hell Night is will be revealed in instalments, Fanfiction.net will only be updated when the entire chapter is released. So you have the choice to wait for a full episode or to read part one of Blackout.
There has been a build-up to this that only we Dalton fans can understand; CP slaving over her keyboard for us. Months of anticipation led up to this moment, where it all crumbles even more than when Hell Night came to throw us out a window like Dwight.
I advise a tissue box and chocolate in these coming days.
Goodluck my fellow Daltonites, may the Coult be with you.
If you wish to read Blackout Part One click here:
http://www.cpcoulter.com/post/16351192479/dalton-episode-27-blackout-part-1
For those of you who wish to wait I leave you with CP's Author Note from her site:
---
---
Author’s Note:
Hi, I’m CP Coulter and I’ll be your author for this fic.
A

WHY IS LIFE SO HARD??!WHYYYYYY??
Oh hai guys. I just had exams. They are over now. And I updated my naruto doujin here: http://www.ashters.com/comics/naruto/naruto-book-two/chapter-4/005-314.html
I have a lot of stuff going on so I'm tired and bored all the time.
1. Final Exams in 15 days now
2. I'm in a play as the lead villain and am supposed to set myself on fire and DIE in the end. And I have to DANCE. SOLO. Yayyyyy to making a moron of myself in public.
3. I have to conduct a survey to see if women in my uni think they deserve to be shackled to an apron and kept docilely in the kitchen or not.
4. I have to put up with really REALLY annoying people, which is just as exhausting as everything else.
Yeah. Okay. So I've made a list. I MIGHT AS WELL THROW IN ANOTHER LIST.
Some of the Worst Things that have ever Happened to me:
1. Being asked about menstruation by a fifth grader.
2. Trying to walk to my house across the road while desperately trying to prevent my loose new pants from falling off by

Birthdays A-gents

Birthdays of our Members:

January:
4th: *Angel-Uriel
15th: ~roxxiekun
February:
6th: *BlankCanvasAmrye
9th: =Tomokou
20th: ~nameless-me
Fabruary:
19th: ~DiseasedBear
March:
18th: ~Dedmerath
24th: ~hullo-whats-that
28th: *Yukikou-chan
April:
7th: *BlueColibri
18th: *Kagome-Nezumiro
19th: ~haseos and ~Mahal-kita
20th: ~DuskNinjaKenji
May:
7th: ~Watermage244
11th: ~Mourge40k
June:
8th: *smiru
August:
31st: ~Death-by-Papercuts
September:
15th: ~LonelySeraphim
26th: ~MonkeyToo
29th: ~MewShinobi
October:
11th: ~Kaiju-Borru-Zetto
November:
5th: ~goldenrose92
27th: *CoffeeDiSpencer
December:
6th: ~masterchiefhammer
15th: *StarberryLemonade
23rd: ~Miha-Hime

Birthdays of our Agents:

Looking through yellow lenses: OptimismYou know, optimism is a funny thing.
People refer to it as seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, but honestly, I think of it more as looking at the world through yellow lenses.
I remember one year, as we do every year, my family went to the mountains, and after we had settled in, one of my aunts had provided us with some hard candy. I, of course, leapt straight for the butterscotch, because that was my favorite and popped the bright yellow candy in my mouth, but while I looked at the wrapper, all transparent and yellow, I got the brilliant idea to close one eye and put it over the lens of my glasses.
And let me tell you, the moment I did, I didn't think the world could have ever looked prettier as bright and golden and brilliant as it was. It was like seeing everything in shades of sunlight, the golden pretty kind you see in Disney or cartoons, and I loved it. I held that wrapper to the my glasses all the way on the trip down to the town, and I wore it all over that town for a

New Favourite ThingI'd like to share my new favourite thing with all y'all. I've known about Web Comics for ages now, but I've only just recently discovered how AMAZING some of them are. There are thousands of them out there, but a few of them are really quality and I've fallen head over heels for 'em. And the awesome thing is that most of the authors have accounts here on DA so they're easily contactable. So since I'm bored and haven't journal-ed in a while, here's a list of my favourites (in no particular order) for anyone who cares to check them out.
1. Archipelago by :iconTheSilverTopHat: http://archipelagocomic.com/
My personal gateway comic. Can't remember how I stumbled on it, but boy am I glad I did! Up to nearly a thousand pages now, the updates are perhaps THE most dependable of any comic out there (Monday, wednesday and Friday) The art at the beginning of the story is pretty shaky, an artist finding her own style, but it pr

The Freshmen are coming the Freshmen are coming!For those of you not on Tumblr I am pleased to bring you news of the freshmen and transfers for Dalton next year.
Is this hope that Mama Cp will be writing a sequel?
And there is speculation one Sebastian Smyth will be joining Stuart house- along with some other new students: A pierced boy named Clay for Windsor, Parker to Hanover, a redhead with a high metabolism called Neil, a heavyset boy named Milo, Kaelan from Australia going into Windors- and Austin, a boy with a bomb for Windsor.
This also gives us hope our Squid of Ignorance will make it out of Hell Night alive- but nail-biting tension is on the rise.
On the bright side for you fans who keep up with Dobry Hall- Dobry will be getting a new student for her Sophmore year! Prima House will play host to none other than Justin Bancroft's sister Laura!
Prima will also be gaining a motorbike riding member- also a member of the Dwight's Seredipity Hill Hunters: Sadie Moore! (Shippers already call them the Ladie Motorbike)
Le

Kiriban + autumn in ZOO Brno - PHOTOSHi!
Nah, I did not want to post a journal tonight, but I spotted that 666 666 kiriban (oh my, double hell number!) is very close

So... if you want to be featured, try to catch my 666 666 kiriban and send me a printscreen as a proof via note

(please, I will not feature real fur, porn or so ;D). Kiriban is close! ;D
Now... autumn came to ZOO Brno, so I went out for the first little walk after the flu. I was surprised that leaves in the wolf exhibit are still more green, so I need to play with colours a bit, when I edit photos

but I believe next week, leaves will turn yellow. What a pity that there is no bush with red leaves in the wolf exhibit, combination of white wolves and red colour would be amazing!
Also, polar foxes have new home. It is just a fenced part of land, but nice, big and interesting, foxes seem to be happy there! It has a double fence, but a good one, which does not make any problem, when you want to take photos. In fact, it is more photofriendly than previous e

Let's get something straightOkay, people need to quit asking me who is who.
I stopped keeping track.
I used to have to ask Dark that shit.
I don't know who is on whose side or who is neutral. I don't really care.
The only source I have and need is "Swallow" and we are now speaking person to person so no, I can't give you a website and I'm not giving out their msgr. (before anybody asks, no they don't have a skype either so A) I can't get it and B) If they did, I wouldn't give it out. I need to stay on their good side)
For right now, things are between me and "Swallow" and what "Swallow" wants, they get.
If any person wishes to participate in the exchange of OSINT* information pertaining to Ms.James, their acceptance is highly reliant on accountable sources who will voucher for them, at least two, and who have contributed factual and meaningful information to her article. They must be or have been valuable assets to the situation. Those who are neutral, current or former friends with Ms.James cannot qualify. Th

WAAAH WOE IS YOUYeah yeah yeah. "I R NOT HEER 2 PLEEZ ANYBODEEE!@@222"
Then stop stealing peoples shit to impress others. DUH.
"4 years of this, that is long enough and a stupid grudge
because of Art/Poses/Characters/Ideas and everything
else there is."
Yeah, four years and you still choose to steal and lie and hide behind password protected TUMBLRs.
Take a hint. You wouldn't have to deal with this if you'd JUST FUCKING STOP STEALING.
No you can't copyright poses but IT'S OBVIOUS that you are referencing and WHO you are referencing. You could have the COURTESY to CREDIT or just tell people what you looked at to get a pose idea from.
Okay, if the poses you are using are SOOOO generic, then why referencing again and again from Uriko or Katie or Tofu, hm? WHy not find that SUPER GENERIC pose on google? Funny how they're SOOO generic yet you keep referencing from the same people over and over and don't bother to credit. Yeah I saw you credited Tofu on that ONE pic out of the hundreds you've made but in yo

IamSleepless - This distance. lyricsHello everyone,
there is this song i like, i couldnt find the lyrics on the web so i wrote them myself.
can someone check if the lyrics are good or not?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOMWCPccTKc here is the song.
Lyrics:
.......................................................................
IamSleepless - This distance.
(BananaPieLord)
The sun fades out,
And the stars light the sky.
I dreamed that I
Am beside you tonight.
I wish that we
Weren't so far apart.
Baby I'll
always keep you in my heart.
I don't know what I would do,
If I ever lost you.
My heart would break in two,
If I ever lost you.
I'll hold you close in my arms,
While we're underneath the stars,
We'll dream the night away.
Just lift your hands in the sky,
You'll see the sparks fly tonight.
Ill never leave you Dear.
The sun fades out,
And the stars light the sky.
As our hearts collide
Darling it's you and I.
I know it's hard
Being so far apart.
You'll always be,
The only one in my heart.
I don't know what I would do

FAQ and ComplaintsGot this idea from ~SiogaAgusArrachtaigh

Age/Gender/Location?
20/Female/United States

.
Why are you always so angry?
There are certain things that piss me off but I try my best to not be a bitch about it.
Are you a Liberal or a Conservative?
I don't like politics, I just like to talk shit about them.

So neither.
Can I be your friend?
If you are worthy.....LOL of course!

What kind of music do you like?
Heavy Metal and Rock.
"Why don't you get a life and quit bothering other people with your rule narking!"
The "get a life" insult is way too old. Believe it or not I have a life outside the interwebz, I just choose when and how to live it. The only reason why I "rule nark" is because I dislike the fact that people think that they can get away with violating the rules. And yes, I am a goody two shoes. Sue me.
"go die"
Too old of an insult. Seriously I get reaaaaally bored of these kinds of insults. If you're trying to piss me off, try

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by *osy057, Feb 6, 2012, 10:36:58 PM
Journals / Personal

Guh... Valentine is approaching. =.=
I truly dearly sincerely passionately undeniably exceptionally irrevocably hate this holiday.

Saint Valentine, I hope you rot in hell...
But you probably won't... cause you're a saint...

All the people in relationships... Screw you guys, you're happy.

All I have is my pillow.

Me: Oh yeah baby..
Pillow:
Me: Shhh... Don't talk baby, don't talk.

Okay, one man theater over.

School work is killing meee. I'm taking 18 hours this semester. The stream of assignments doesn't seem to stop or even slow down.
On the upside, I recently got my Final Fantasy XIII-2. Played a little bit of it. It was fun. Wanna play more when I get the time.

Anyyyyyway.
I think I'm gonna form a Forever Alone Party.
...... Also known as FAP.

LOL oookay, I should really go to sleep before I say anything else stupid.

Good night people. *poof*

104 Comments

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love 2 2

joy 1 1

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

sad 2 2

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~Keyshe54 Feb 12, 2012 Traditional Artist

Aw... I'm single too but I don't let it get me down. There is more then one way and kinds of love, it doesn't have to be all about the romantic one. My birthday comes RIGHT before it anyway, but I feel love for friends, old, new and lost and my family and someday, a future love I'm sure. There are lots of people I don't know but I love them as they've done great things and made wonderful storys I love very much.

On Vday I think of all the people I love, in all the diffident ways that emotion works and have enriched my life.
And all the Holiday candy goes on sale right after!

I hope one way or another it is a nice holiday for you, maybe you can take this time to learn more about yourself so when you do meant that special person you can share yourself all the more with?

~Justonereason24201 Feb 11, 2012

We can do this, man! Forever alone together! T_T Manly tears are the expense we must pay!

~Moony-14-Lucky Feb 11, 2012

lucky for me, valentines day is on other day, from a other month in Brazil xD
but is doesn't change the fact that i'll be alone anyway ):

~leelinkman22 Feb 11, 2012

Oooh! I'm already a member of FAP. Have been my whole life. Welcome to the instituion Osy.

*osy057 Feb 12, 2012 Student

haha do we get t-shirts? xD

~leelinkman22 Feb 18, 2012

Lol for sure!

*Soup-Fairy Feb 10, 2012

Glad to know there are others suffering from loneliness...lol that wasn't meant to sound so depressing XD

~DamonDiebEin Feb 9, 2012

Can I join your Forever Alone Party?

*osy057 Feb 9, 2012 Student

of course. lol

~zeldamistoffelees Feb 9, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Poor Osy. If I could I would send you some chocolate. ^.^
Btw, that was some sweet pillow talk. (Har, har.)
Don't have too much fun with your 'fapping,' kay?

A digital hug for you! I hope Valentines isn't all that bad for you.

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